If it's true that creativity takes courage, then color me a spineless... lily-livered... yellow... gutless weak-kneed wimp from the Land of Wimpania.
Just call me the cowardly lion.
Thankfully, I don't have to befriend Tin Man and Company to find my courage. My fear is actually quite a puny molehill, only I've made it comparable to those mountains that we see The Fellowship traversing in Middle Earth.
For years I've always wanted to be able to draw. I'm pretty obsessed with artwork, and there came a time when I needed an intervention of sorts in order to take down some of the pictures hanging on my bedroom wall.
Really, I had it baaad.
I even remember, back in my senior year of high school, when we were given an assignment that had to incorporate something along the lines of adventure. (I think that was it. My memory isn't what it used to be). I remember creating two drawings. The first was Garfield as Indiana Jones. The setting for his adventure was above an active volcano. My other drawing was Mickey Mouse in The Sorcerer's Apprentice.
Now, I was one of the least artistic students in this class. Let me confess to this right now. (Rambling Note: I was even worse at sewing in Home Economics. When I was making a tote bag I had to come into class, before school started, to work on it because I was so behind. When I handed it to my teacher for a quick inspection, she eagle-eyed it and said, with actual despair in her voice, "Oh, Kristin." She then got out the seam ripper, which was a tool I was on intimate terms with).
And forget about paper mache. Oh.my.God. was that a nightmare. A true embarrassment. It was pathetic. I tried to make a knight, but none of his body parts would stick together. In fact, his body parts were hardly recognizable. It looked like a pinata that had been attacked by a group of schoolchildren at a birthday party.
The Black Knight in Monty Python looked far superior.
But back to my Garfield and Mickey Mouse drawings----
I was pretty proud of them. I worked really hard on them. I was never stressed over them, but I did become a little OCD on making them as good as I possibly could.
Still, that didn't stop one of the other gals that sat at my table from announcing, and with confidence, that I must have traced those pictures.
TRACED those pictures.
TRACED those pictures!!!!!!!
Let me tell ya, that kind of pissed me off. It certainly frustrated me, but I comforted myself with the knowledge that this girl's brain must have been comprised of a sackful of ferrets because DID SHE NOT SEE HOW MUCH I USED THE ERASER ON GARFIELD AND MICKEY?!
I still have those two drawings, although over the years they have acquired a lot of smudging since they were charcoal pencil drawings.
Several years later I decided to give art another go. I only did a few random sketches. I copied an illustration or two from "The Secret Garden," a painting in one of my Tasha Tudor art books, and then a drawing of my Beatrix Potter figurine of Hunca Munca.
I was actually really proud of these, too, so I figured that learning to draw in a school setting just wasn't my thing. I didn't like being told what to draw, and then being graded on it.
By a football coach.
Through the wonderful world of Pinterest, I came across this gem of a quote:
Time will tell if Rumi is full of hot air, but I'm gonna give this drawing gig yet another go. I'm just going to have to keep reminding myself of these key things:
1). It doesn't have to be perfect. It's plain old common sense that that just isn't going to happen to a newbie anyway. Hell no is some artistic genius going to emerge when it never did before.
2). Another quote: "Comparison is the thief of joy."
I don't know who was the first bloke to say this, but I know it to be true.
3). Like Nike, JUST DO IT! (I really hate myself for citing that overused slogan). Stop being such a scaredy cat. While it's true that I'm tired of trying and failing/falling short in my creative endeavors, I really need to chill out and march into that battle anyway. It's not like I haven't done it countless times before.