Friday, September 20, 2013

Country Life is Hell


Prepare for a lot of babbling….

Not that I’m speaking to anyone really. I only blog for myself. How boring.

Well, for the past 4 days we’ve stumbled across 4 snakes.

- Snake #1 was on the side of the back yard. I was glad to have not seen this one personally since it was a really long, very large snake. We think it was poisonous, too.

- Snake # 2 was discovered by yours truly two mornings ago. It was around 7 am. The dogs wanted out, so even though I was petrified of running into a critter I forged ahead anyway.

Big mistake.

I stepped onto the porch, shutting the door behind me because I have to search the perimeters first. There’s no way I’m taking a chance at by dogs getting hurt by some wild animal.

So I step on the porch and don’t see anything. It’s another very foggy morning, so I do one last search on the acreage to the right of the little “fence” we put up for the dogs.

And then it happened. Hidden from view was a really big snake, and it was RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! It was coiled halfway in the grass and halfway on the porch I was standing on. I didn’t see it originally because the wrought iron table was between us. This thing was really long, and its head was raised up as it stared at me. It scared me to death, so I did what every coward would do.

I walked backwards in just 2 steps (no way am I turning my back to a snake), slammed the door and then ran into my Mommy’s bedroom to wake her up and have her take care of it. Photobucket

When she asked what it looked like, I told her: green with a yellow stripe. She said it was just a garden snake.

Just a garden snake? JUST a garden snake? What part of SNAKE did she not understand? Hell, Mom. It’s a SNAKE! S-N-A-K-E! SNAKE! Not a june bug or doodle bug. A snake!

So after I woke Mom from a restful sleep (and probably dreaming of George Strait), she put on her battle gear.

Well, actually there was no battle gear involved because my Mom’s crazy. (I had no idea). She’s crazy because when she went out there to get rid of that snake she was BAREFOOT! She didn’t even bother putting on her red cowgirl boots.

She didn’t kill my green and yellow striped nightmare. It took a while, because this “harmless” snake was putting up a fight, but eventually Mom’s handy-dandy snake grabber stick fulfilled its destiny. The “harmless” snake went for a little ride across the yard before being tossed across the fence and back into the fields.

The whole incident is on our security cams. (I’ll try to upload part of it to this post in a few days). It arrived before 2 am, and just sat there all night. At one point a little white mouse ran straight into it.

I don’t know if that mouse was made a meal of though. I actually hope so because the mice have been a real nuisance around here. They are absolutely everywhere, same as the geckos.

- And then there’s last night’s adventure with Snake # 3. Guess who ran into this one.
No, not the brave one but the cowardly one. Me!

Mom, myself and our dogs were outside, and then we went back in the house. After a few minutes I decided to stop being such a chicken. We’re currently living on 43 acres, and even though we can’t walk even ¼ of it at least I can enjoy the view and watch another beautiful sunset. (And I know I keep saying this, but the sunsets over here truly are breathtaking).

Feeling really brave, I decide to venture outside au natural. (Yeah, get your minds out of the gutter. I’m talking about feet here).

So I’m outside, and just as I start to sit in a chair I discover that I have a visitor. This time it’s a little brown snake wriggling around like a 3 year old hyped up on sugar cubes. It’s in the corner of the porch by a log (door stop) and the screen door to the garage.

Once more I call out for my Mommy. She gets off the phone… (Mom is always on the phone. People never stop calling her. She’s a popular gal)... and goes outside to take care of it. By the time we get the wasp spray, it’s gone. Somehow it digs itself into the dirt and beneath the brick of the house by the garage. (I still have no idea how it accomplished this. It’s a Houdini Snake).

- Snake # 4 appeared around 8 am this morning. A baby COPPERHEAD was CLIMBING THE DAMNED FENCE because it didn’t want to go near the ‘Snake Away’ that we have sprinkled around the perimeter. (Wanna hear a creepy coincidence? Only yesterday I was wondering to myself if these snakes could ever crawl that fence). Mom sprayed it with the wasp spray, but when she got to the shovel to kill the son of a bitch it was gone.

So there’s yet another poisonous snake nearby. (I know the big barn has them).

I am so sick of this place! It’s exhausting because everywhere you go, you’re constantly looking for danger. 24/7 we’re trying to protect ourselves and our dogs. Inside the house and outside.

And next week we have to dog sit my brothers 2 dogs in addition to our own. I’m really nervous about that. The last time we dog sat them was for 2 weeks, and this time it won’t be for near as long but I’m still very nervous over it. One of their dogs is a miniature Chihuahua, and one immediate danger for her are all the hawks. (The hawks here can be massive). I’m so tired of worrying for everybody’s safety.

Make that 5 snakes in 4 days. The moment my father drove into the driveway tonight, there was another snake. A really long one. It was too dark to see what kind it was, so it had to be killed in case it was another copperhead.

So that’s 2 snakes in one day now.

One funny thing... (or I'm just easily amused after all this snake trauma)... is that once he drove up, on the security cameras you can see a toad just sitting there in the driveway. Even when the headlights were on it, it didn’t move. It left when the snake fiasco happened, but a few minutes later it returned.

There are also 2 toads on the back patio. There’s a big one, and then a baby. The baby was trying to catch flies, and my dog tried making friends with it.

Fortunately, Maddie listened to us when we told her to leave it alone.

I can’t believe I’ve babbled so much in this post. It’s been one of those days, and no one really reads this anyway.


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- It’s my niece’s 17th birthday! (It also would have been my grandma’s birthday, and it’s even my niece’s grandmother’s birthday today).

- My poor father is out of state again. His plane was supposed to land this morning around 11 am, and then he’d have to drive an hour and a half home, but now he won’t even arrive in Austin until after 8:30 pm… and why?

How about because someone HIT THE PLANE last night and damaged it really bad? How in the heck does someone hit a plane? Really?!

I doubt he’ll land by 9, as it’s raining all day. It’s torrential downpours today and tomorrow. Mom and I braved it earlier today, because Mom needed a tall pair of work boots like I have. (Because of the snakes). We were caught in a huge downpour, and tonight another one came. It was so horrific that the back porch was flooding in no time at all. We had to think quick, so we emptied one of the large 24 gallon trash cans. It filled all the way to the top in less than a minute.

Yep, in less than a minute. I’m not making this up or exaggerating.

I’m petrified at the thought of copperheads swimming around on our back porch. I’m also worried about Dad driving home in this weather in the dark. He’s so tired.

And I’m really freaked out over all this rain bringing in even more snakes. Every single time it rains we see them trying to drink water out of the gutter spouts, and all week – and without it raining – we’ve been seeing one snake a day.

The problem with this place is we’re on 43 acres, and the owner isn't able to cut it. It’s a Mecca of meals for them, so of course they’re not going to go anywhere. They have all the mice and geckos that they wish to eat, right here on this property. We’re talking thousands of mice and geckos. They’re everywhere. Literally everywhere.

- We spent most of the day yesterday checking out the happenings in Round Top and Warrenton.

In case you’re living under a rock, what I’m speaking of is the Antiques Festival here in Texas. It sprawls something like 20 miles of the countryside. (And I mean that literally. None of this is in a big city. Think endless acres of cow chips, windmills and barns). People come from all over the world to attend. We’re talking Tommy Hilfiger’s people, etc. It’s a really, really, really big deal.

It is BIG, like Woodstock Big, and for once I’m living just a couple minutes away from the main hub-bub. (And no lie, I LOVE this area. If you ever want to visit the real Texas Hill Country, you must head this way. Rachel Ashwell’s B&B is here, as are The Junk Gypsies. We went exploring just a couple days ago and discovered one of the prettiest spots. We took Wickel Road, which led to Meyer Cemetery Road. Goodness was it gorgeous! I am so envious of the view all those cattle’s eyes feast upon day after day! It was so picturesque.

My mother said she and Dad had been there once before, when 10 or 20 acres was on sale. Of course… everyplace up there has fantastic views as far as the eye can see. I bet it’s b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l in the spring when the bluebonnets are blooming).

Anyway, even the house we’re having built right now is near one side of the Antiques Festival. (The house we’re in right now is next to Round Top, and the house we’re having built is in Warda/Warrenton).

I tried getting film of all the tents and venues being set up, but my stupid camera was misbehaving. And anyway… I don’t have good enough internet right now to upload and share the videos.

And speaking of our house building update:

- The walls and ceilings are finally up (sans texture), and let me tell ya… it is so very small. Our last house was so large with cathedral-like ceilings. This new house is like a doll’s house.

It is really tiny, but I’m sure we’ll get used to it over time. I know we will because from the outside it’s very sweet and very charming. It feels like a happy house. It’s only on 2 acres, but to us that’s a big deal. The people next to us have really large acreage populated by cattle and a donkey named “Hugs.”

I LOVE seeing them outside the windows. It’s really a nice sight to me. I love it.

But the latest news: Tilson called today to tell us of ANOTHER mistake they made. They’ve completely messed up the fireplace, so now that has to be fixed. The good news is they say they’ll make it up to us.

Pffftt! I’ll believe that when I see it. I’m tired of them constantly having to re-do everything and us having to point these things out. They desperately need lessons in Construction 101. They order the wrong stuff… they install it incorrectly… you name it, and they’ve screwed it up and then have to fix it.

It’s taking forever to get this itty-bitty house done.


1 comment:

  1. Hi Kristen, I see you live in Burton, I love your town. It's really pretty. I appreciate you stopping by, but not having been to the shows I understand your concern about the traffic and heat, but this always happens at every show. And besides we're in Texas, so you know it's always hot. I wouldn't let anything stop me from shopping here. It only happens twice a year and in no other part of the country will you find the things you'll find here or meet the people you'll meet here. I've made so many friends for life from having set up at the shows. If it wouldn't have been for coming to Round Top, I wouldn't have even met half of them. Please stop by and see me if you are near Zapp Hall, I'll be right in front of the Hall. Hoping to meet you. And good luck with building your new home and how blessed to be doing this in Warrenton. I'd do anything to be able to find a place here to live, we've looked but nothing within reason.


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