Thursday, October 30, 2014

Count Dracula Speaks...

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I am: Count Dracula!
 
 I think: Zombies are overrated.
 
 I know: a few werewolves.
 
I want: a werewolf for a pet.
 
I dislike: Shabby Chic.
 
 I am always: picking on The Headless Horseman by provoking him to argue with me.
 
I miss: the old days, when wearing capes were fashionable.
 
 I fear: any pizza sprinkled with garlic.
 
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I sing: not very well, as my fangs get in the way.
 
 I have: the most comfortable coffin.
 
I feel: that Count Chokula is reprehensible.
 
I hear: “Tocatta in Fugue” playing on my ipod.
 
 I smell: Hershey’s Bars and Candy Corn.
 
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I wonder: why Halloween decorations are already in stores in July.
 
 I crave: Oreo Cookies dipped in blood.
 
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I listen: to those Haunted House Sounds cd’s and I just want to laugh and laugh.
 
 I search: for a soulmate, but it’s difficult finding one of the living dead type.
 
 I regret: that Wonder Woman isn’t a vampire that fights evil.
 
 I love: smiling jack-o-lanterns.
 
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 I worry: that as I walk down the streets this All Hallows Eve, none of the little kids will fear me because they’ll think I’m just playing dress up.
 
 I argue: with Frankenstein all the time, but usually he just mumbles and staggers around like a toddler.  photo frank.gif
 
I write: a little bit like Shakespeare, because while he was drunk in a tavern one night I drank a pint of his blood.
 
I wish: my mother would stop trying to set me up.
 
I don't understand: why I wasn’t contacted to portray myself in the old ‘Dark Shadows’ tv series.
 
I am scared: of my two recurring nightmares, of sunny beaches and Miley Cyrus sticking her tongue out at me.
 
I need: to sleep through December, since all that good cheer is nauseating.
 
I am happy: when riding The Haunted Mansion at Walt Disney World during Mickey’s-Not-So-Scary-Halloween-Party.
 
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1 comment:

  1. Count Dracula made me laugh with a couple of his more outlandish statements, like Oreo Cookies dipped in blood!! But I also agreed with lots of his statements (I’m not going to tell you which ones, or you might think me odd!)
    Happy Halloween.

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